Ten Ways to Keep Your Marriage Fresh

It often all begins with:

"I, (...), take you, (...), to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, (or to love, cherish, and obey) till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and this is my solemn vow."

Sadly, for far too many, it ends in divorce.

Me and Dave had been together for many years before we decided to tie the knot. We have always believed in working hard at our relationship to keep it fresh and once we were married this was especially so as we really did not want to become yet another statistic. 

So here’s our top 10 ideas to help keep your relationship in the best of health. They are in no particular order :)

1. Buy the Occasional Present. 

Don’t wait for Valentines Day, each others Birthdays or Christmas to buy each other a present, be spontaneous. The cost of the present should not be of any real concern, but it should be the gesture that counts. Whether you choose to show how much you care with flowers or with some other token, it is sure to be well received.

2. Spend Quality Time Together 

Don’t wait to go on holiday before you spend quality time together. It could just as easily be spent taking a bath together (don't always give him the tap end!), going for a walk in the park or going to the cinema. Every couple needs the opportunity to relax in each others company, so make the time for each other. This is especially true if you have children.

3. Remember your Wedding Anniversary

This was the day you both announced publicly your marriage. Do something special such as going out for a romantic dinner to mark the occasion.

4. Respect Each Other

Always be open and honest with your partner. Honesty is a great foundation for a relationship. A relationship will find it hard to survive if it is based on lies. Treat your partner the way you would like to be treated and you will find the respect will always be there.

5. Have Interests Separate from Each Other

Remember that you both had a life prior to getting married. It’s important that you both maintain a degree of independence and you both have the opportunity to meet up socially with your respective friends and just do something without your partner. However, be careful to get the balance right otherwise your partner may end up feeling neglected. 

6. Spend Time on Your Appearance

It’s important that you both make an effort on you appearance for each other. By doing so you are signaling to your partner that you want them to still find your attractive. All in all this will make for a healthier sexual and emotionally balanced relationship.

7. Value your Marriage

Marriage will never be perfect everyday. All relationships experience ups and downs and its how we deal with it as a couple that will make or break your relationship. Be realistic from the outset and make a commitment to each other that you will try hard to make it work through the good times and the bad.

8. Say Sorry

Recognise that there will be times when you might have got it wrong, and be humble enough to say you are sorry. Not only say you’re sorry but say it with real conviction, otherwise it’s meaningless.

9. Compromise

There will be habits your partner has which may irritate you. For many women its men who leave the toilet seat up, for men its women who use their razor to shave their legs. Whatever your gripes bare in might it often cuts both ways, and it's how you work together to accept each other flaws that makes the difference. (also see number 4!) 

10. Don’t Take your Partner for Granted

Falling into the trap of taking your partner for granted is so very easy to do. Remember marriage is about having an equal partnership. Take a step back every now and again and have a think about whether you take your partner for granted, whether you do your fair share of chores and whether you help out when needed.

I’m not a marriage guidance councilor but I do know this, it takes two to make a marriage work.

Si kila saloon inaweza kupodoa maharusi

Kwa wanandoa waliokwishapitia katika hatua ya kufunga ndoa kwa sherehe za harusi, bila shaka wanatambua wazi ni jinsi gani sehemu iitwayo saluni inavyokuwa ni ya muhimu siku ya harusi. 

Ingawa pande zote mbili za bibi na bwana harusi huwa ni muhimu kupitia kwanza saluni kabla ya kwenda kanisani, msikitini au kwa mkuu wa wilaya, lakini kwa upande wa bibi harusi saluni huwa ni ya muhimu zaidi kuliko upande wa bwana harusi, kwa maana bwana harusi anaweza kwenda kunyoa na kuziweka vizuri nywele zake hata siku moja kabla ya siku yenyewe ya harusi, ila kwa bibiye hilo haliwezekani, lazima iwe ni siku hiyo ya harusi. Nywele ni lazima iwe ‘fresh’ kutoka saluni! 

Kutokana na umuhimu mkubwa wa ulimwende kwa upande wa bibi harusi, ni dhahiri pia siku hiyo saluni husika nayo ni lazima iwe ni ya viwango vya harusi, siyo mradi saluni. 

Nasema hivi kwa sababu si kila saluni ina wataalamu wa kuwaandaa maharusi, yaani bibi harusi pamoja na wapambe wake kulingana na staili husika ya harusi, ingawa saluni za kike zipo nyingi sana mitaani kwetu na nyingi zinajitahidi kufanya vizuri kibiashara kwa viwango vyao walivyojiwekea. 

Pamoja na hayo yote, leo hii nimelazimika kuzungumzia suala hili kutokana na bibiye mmoja ambaye kwa hivi sasa anaitwa ‘Mrs’ fulani baada ya kujikuta akilazimika kutafuta maji ya vuguvugu, ili ajioshe uso wake muda mfupi kabla ya kuingia kanisani kufunga ndoa kutokana na mchanganyiko kibao wa vipodozi aliosilibwa kisawasawa katika saluni moja maeneo ya Mwenge, Dar es Salaam, kuanza kumuumua uso wake kabla hata mtarajiwa wake hajamvisha pete na Baba Paroko kutoa baraka zake kwao ili waanza maisha mapya wakiwa kama bibi na bwana harusi. 

Ni vigumu kuelezea ni jinsi gani binti anayetarajia kufunga ndoa kwa hiari na mapenzi yake mwenyewe, anavyokuwa mwenye furaha na shauku kubwa kukamilisha siku yake hiyo muhimu katika maisha yake kwa staili ambayo itairidhisha nafsi yake pamoja na ndugu na jamaa zake wa karibu, ghafla anapojikuta siku hiyo inaharibiwa na wataalamu ‘feki’ wa saluni kwa kumuumua sura yake ambayo katika hali halisi siku hiyo ndio angependa sura hiyo ipendeze zaidi kuliko siku nyingine zote alizowahi kujipodoa katika maisha yake. 

Tunasikia kuwa binti kabla ya siku yake ya harusi haijawadia huwa anafanyiwa sherehe na wanawake wenzake mahsusi kwa ajili yake bibi harusi mtarajiwa, ingawa sina hakika na agenda zao muhimu katika sherehe zao hizo maarufu kwa jina la ‘kitchen-party’, lakini nahisi kama agenda hii ya saluni huwa haipo, basi inabidi iingizwe angalau hata kwenye mengineyo ili kabla ya bibiye mtarajiwa hajaamua ni saluni gani ya kwenda kujipoa siku ya harusi yake, basi ufanyike kwanza uchambuzi yakinifu utakaowawezesha kutambua viwango vya saluni husika, siyo mototo wa watu mwenye uso wake mzuri na unopendeza kabla hata hajaweka vipodozi, cha ajabu baada ya kutoka saluni uso wake unageuka na kuonekana kana kwamba ameng’atwa na manyigu! 

Inasikitisha sana bibi harusi anapojitazama kwenye kioo na kujikuta anaikataa sura yake! Kisa? Wababaishaji na vipodozi feki vyote kwa pamoja vimevamia fani za watu kwenye saluni. Binafsi nashindwa kupata picha ni vipi bibiye huyo atakavyothubutu kuiangalia albamu ya picha zake za harusi pamoja video yake? 

Dada zangu inabidi muongeze umakini wa kuchagua saluni zenu kabla hamjaamua kwenda kujipodoa kwa maana tukichukua tatizo hili la baadhi ya wafanyakazi wa saluni kuwa wababaishaji tukajumlisha na tatizo hili la vipodozi feki lililojikita nchini mwetu, si ajabu dada zetu siku moja mkajikuta mnatoka saluni na kuziacha nywele zenu zote huko huko saluni! 

Haya si mambo hata kidogo, kwa utaratibu huu itabidi mamlaka husika zifanye utaratibu wa kuzikagua saluni na kuziwekea viwango ili madhara zaidi yasitokee.

Perfume Selection Tips for Wedding

Can a fragrance, a perfume really help you deal with everything that goes into being a bride or a groom? Aromachology, the study of how fragrance affects our moods, seems to indicate so. 

So, for such a memorable day as wedding, right perfume selection can make the things edgy. Here are the tips to Right Perfume for your Wedding!

•   When choosing a fragrance for your wedding day, wear one of your favorites that your bride or groom especially likes -- this is no time for surprises! 
  
   
• If you're determined to wear something new, be sure to start experimenting the perfume at least a month before the wedding so that you are certain it is a scent you'll both enjoy.
  

•   Apply the same fragrance in all its many forms and layer it -- starting with the bath and ending with your perfume application to the pulse points (wherever you feel the beat of your heart). 
  
   
• For an especially romantic effect, apply fragrance to the palms of your hands. 
  
   
• If you're wearing fashionable sheer lacy gloves take a cue from Queen Elizabeth I and accent them with fragrances and perfumes. 
  
   
• Just before you put on your veil, spray fragrance and surround yourself in a aura of scent. Then, spray the same fragrance on your veil to create a magical aura of scented pleasure. 
  
   
• Arrange your bridesmaids' scents to complement each other -- and you -- for perfect harmony. Their scent should be in the same fragrance family as yours -- oriental, spicy, floral, floral blend, green, modern blend, citrus.
  
  

WEDDING BOMBA OF THE DAY

Tuache umbea hawa watu walipendeza jamaniii ahhgggg!

Uenyekiti wa vikao vya harusi unapokuwa dili!

Kutokana na utamaduni wetu, ni dhahiri kabisa kuwa kusaidiana katika shida na raha ni mojawapo ya mambo ambayo yamekuwepo katika jamii zetu za Kiafrika kwa miaka mingi sana.

Baadhi ya mambo ambayo tumekuwa tukisaidiana moja kwa moja kimichango ni pamoja na kufanikisha sherehe mbali mbali kama vile za harusi.

 Si kitu cha ajabu kusikia unaombwa uhudhurie kikao cha maandalizi ya harusi, ukisikia hivyo, moja kwa moja unatambua wazi kuwa umeombwa uchangie kuifanikisha.

Nakiri kuwa utaratibu huu wa kuchangiana ili kukamilisha sherehe ya harusi ya jamaa yenu, unasaidia sana kuifanikisha vema shughuli nzima ya harusi. Pamoja na kwamba watu wengi huwa ni wenye nia nzuri ya kuifanikisha sherehe kama hiyo kwa kujitolea kwa hali na mali, lakini wapo wachache ambao nia zao kubwa huwa ni kujinufaisha nafsi zao badala ya kuifanikisha sherehe yenyewe. 

Ni kitendo cha kushangaza sana mtu anayepewa heshima kama mmoja wa wanakamati wenye kubeba jukumu kubwa la kuifanikisha sherehe nzima ya harusi anapogeuka na kukichukulia kikao cha harusi kuwa ni sehemu ya kufanyia dili zake.

Haishangazi ndani ya ukumbi wa sherehe kumkamata au kumuona mhudumu akiichimbia chupa ya kilaji sehemu sehemu, lakini mbali ya kushangaza pia ni aibu kubwa kwa mmoja kati ya viongozi wenye nguvu ya kauli katika kamati ya maandalizi ya sherehe hiyo, anapogundulika kuwa ndiye kinara wa kufanya dili ya kulala winga na kreti kadhaa za bia wakati wageni waalikwa bado makoo yao yanadai kilaji!

Kwa ujumla inapotokea hali kama hiyo huwa ni fedheha kubwa kwa wanakamati wengine waadilifu.

Wiki chache zilizopita nikiwa mmoja wa wanakamati ya maandalizi ya harusi ya jamaa yangu fulani, ghafla nilijikuta naingia katika wakati mgumu kutokana na kushindwa kuwaridhisha kwa kinywaji baadhi ya waalikwa katika sherehe hiyo ambayo awali kila mmoja alikuwa na uhakika wa kupata kinywaji na chakula cha kutosha kutokana na kiasi kikubwa cha pesa kilichokuwa kimechangwa, lakini ghafla mambo yakaanza kuonekana si mambo tena! Kisa? Mwenyekiti wa kamati ya maandalizi alicheza dili chafu ya kinywaji akishirikiana na meneja wa ukumbi harusi ilipofanyika!

Ni jambo la kushangaza sana ufisadi unapoingia hadi kwenye vikao vya harusi! Mwenyekiti ambaye ndiye watu wote walikuwa wanamuamini na kumtegemea kuongoza ufanisi wa sherehe nzima kutokana na jukumu alilopewa, ghafla anaonekana kuwa ndiye kinara wa kuiharibu sherehe hiyo kwa kuficha kreti kadhaa za bia ili baada ya sherehe arudishiwe kiasi fulani cha pesa na kugawana na meneja wa ukumbi huo!

Baada ya kibano kutoka kwa wanakamati, mweyekiti akajitetea kuwa aliamua kuzichimbia kreti hizo ili zinywewe siku inayofuata! Utetezi ambao haukuingia akilini mwa watu wengi.

Hata kama ingekuwa hivyo, bado hakuna mantiki ya kutotoa kinywaji siku hiyo ya harusi. Harusi ni siku ile ile ambayo wapendanao wamevishana pete, na siku hiyo hiyo ndiyo wazazi, ndugu na jamaa wa hao maharusi wanayotakiwa kuisherehekea kwa nguvu zao zote mbele ya macho ya maharusi wao.

Sasa inakuwaje bia na soda zilizonunuliwa kwa michango ya hao hao waalikwa, anatokea mtu mmoja au wawili wanaamua kuzichimbia kona? Eti kwa madai kuwa zitanywewa kesho yake! Hivi hiyo siku inayoitwa kesho yake, waalikwa watakuwa ni hao hao au nayo ni mbinu nyingine ya ufisadi?

Haipendezi kitu kilichotayarishwa kwa ajili ya harusi ghafla kinazuliwa utaratibu ambao haueleweki eleweki. Jamani harusi ni sherehe, sasa vipi sherehe ipindishwe wakati zana zote muhimu za sherehe zipo?

Sasa napata jibu la swali ambalo nimekuwa nikijiuliza mara kwa mara, kwa nini baadhi ya watu hung’ang’ania kuwa viongozi katika kila kikao cha harusi wanachoshiriki? Kumbe ni kucheza dili kama hili lililochezwa na huyo mwenyekiti.

Hayo si mambo hata kidogo. Washikaji zangu ambao bado mpo kwenye behewa moja la ubachala, lazima mjaribu kutafuta mbinu za kuepukana na hawa wacheza dili japo kwa asilimia kidogo, vinginevyo watu hao wanaweza wakacheza dili hadi ya kutoroka na bibi harusi!

Flower options for your wedding and beyond

Congratulations! You are engaged!
You are now on your wonderful yet often frustrating journey from engagement to wedding.
It is a journey that will take you through many avenues and some forks in the road where you'll have to stop, consider and choose a path.

The road we'll take together is the one leading to the "fork in the road" to wedding flowers selection.

Today, you can select to proceed to the Fresh Flower road or you may opt for the Silk Flowers road. Before you decide, however you must weigh the benefits and drawbacks you will encounter on either road traveled.

Fresh Flowers

Traditionally, fresh flowers dominated the wedding celebration because the scent of fresh flowers fill the air with sweetness and empower the emotions. 
However, fresh flowers are extremely expensive yet fade and wilt after just a few days. Additionally, fresh flowers are seasonal so, if you are willing to go with flowers that are available at the season of your wedding you may pay somewhat less than if you opt for more exotic flowers that are out of season.

Yes! your fresh flowers can be preserved you do want to keep them as keepsakes. Right? but doing so demands getting them to a reliable flower preserver and this is often a costly process.


Consider allergic reactions to fresh flowers. You, some guests or people in the wedding party may be allergic to real flowers, and it is no fun to go through a wedding sneezing and with red, itchy eyes.

Consider your peace of mind. You must order fresh flowers long before the wedding date. Yet, by their nature, you can not see them until the florist brings them to your wedding site. Once done, with no time to spare, whether you like them or not, you are stuck with the bouquets, flower arrangements, and other floral accessories as created by the florist.


Silk Flowers

Today Silk Flowers are becoming more and more popular as more brides choose them for their weddings. Let's find out why.

If you order your silk flowers from a professional, they will most probably look realistic. Some look so realistic in fact that unless you touch them you can not tell the difference. However, even if you spray them to emit the scent of the flower, the scent will evaporate after a while.

When you choose silk flowers, you are not depended on the season and can get the flowers you want, no matter how exotic for much less than fresh flowers. Yet they will not fade, and will not wilt after just a few days or for years for that matter. Silk flowers provide you with a lifetime keepsake without the trouble and expense of having them preserved. Your bouquet will always look the same as it did the day you walked down the aisle. 

Silk flowers are not allergenic and will cause no one to go through your wedding sneezing and with red, itchy eyes. 

You can have peace of mind and be worry free when you order silk flowers because you can order them long before the wedding date. You are not stuck with the bouquets, flower arrangements, and other floral accessories as created by the designer. You can examine them and you can have corrections and changes made in plenty of time and go to your wedding knowing that your flowers are just as you want them.

Some brides feel that silk flowers are "not the real" thing and even when they look too real to be distinguishd, when you touch them they just don’t "feel" like real flowers. Other brides prefer silk flowers . The choice is yours. With some information at hand, choose the road you wish to travel and whether it is Real Flowers or Silk Flowers, have a pleasant trip, beautiful wedding and a happy, blessed life together.